Why Am I So Tired All the Time? Relearning “Self-Care” 為什麼總是覺得好累？你可能需要重新理解「照顧自己」
by Teresa Wang, MHCLP
Oct, 2024
(English Translation below)
如果你是一個非常盡責又勤奮的人、總是不餘遺力的照顧他人、是在團隊中展望大局、負起責任的人，那麽你在休息或照顧自己時，罪惡感很可能會不斷地湧現。這種內疚感的湧現，使你儘管身心俱疲，生活似乎也不容許你停下喘息。
罪惡感的產生可以視作為我們對自己的行動是否符合個人內在的準則的反思。我們往往對「照顧自己」的行為充滿罪惡感，因為這被認為與社會認可的準則如勤奮、負責任有所衝突。
然而這真的是合理的標準嗎？現實中，如果我們不主動休息，絕大多數情況，沒有老闆會主動提出減低工作量，也沒有同事會自發地替我們分擔，那我們、無疑地、身為一個凡人，有生老病死的人生、有在意的人和價值、有想做的嘗試和想去的遠方、在有有限的歲月和精力下，又有誰來替我們關愛和實現這些呢？
當你因為休息而產生內疚，這不奇怪，因為你一生可能都在遵循不成文的規則。但你有沒有問過自己，這些規則真的是為了你的人生最佳福祉而設的嗎？
照顧自己並非自私或懶惰，而是一種必要的自我責任。雖然我們無法停止他人的主觀看法，但我們可以選擇如何看待這些失望，並將注意力放回照顧自己內在的需求。當我們照顧好自己，我們能走的更長、更遠，並創造出充滿快樂的人生。
If you are a highly responsible and diligent person, someone who always goes the extra mile to take care of others, looks out for the big picture in the team, and takes on responsibility, then feelings of guilt are likely to arise when you try to rest or take care of yourself. This sense of guilt can emerge so strongly that, even when you are physically and mentally exhausted, life seems to leave you no room to pause and catch your breath.
The feeling of guilt can be seen as a reflection on whether our actions align with our personal inner standards. We often feel guilty about “self-care” because it is perceived as conflicting with socially accepted values like diligence and responsibility. But is this really a reasonable standard? In reality, if we don’t actively request rest, in most cases, no boss will voluntarily offer to reduce our workload, nor will any colleague spontaneously share our burdens. As mere mortals with lives that involve aging, illness, and death, with people and things we care about, and with limited time and energy, who else will step in to care for and fulfill these aspects of our lives if not ourselves?
While we can’t stop others from holding subjective opinions, we can learn to accept and get used to their disappointment, while focusing on our own happiness and well-being. When we take good care of ourselves, we are able to go further, last longer, and create a life filled with happiness.
Note: This English translation was generated using ChatGPT, a large language model by OpenAI, based on the original content in Chinese.
